His Secret Obsession: A New Adult MM Romance by Milana Spencer

Author:Milana Spencer [Spencer, Milana]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-11-24T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER TWENTY

Lucas

Age 15

I’ve had dreams about Charlie since I was a kid. Just normal dreams, about us playing in the playground, or on a tropical island, or on a pirate ship and he had a pet parrot and I had a pet monkey.

I only started having those kinds of dreams last year. It wasn’t only Charlie, of course. Sometimes it would be faceless guys, or some actor I’d seen on TV, or a model I’d see on the cover of Men’s Health in the supermarket.

Of course, the dreams about Charlie pissed me off the most. When I’d go to school and see him in class and notice that he looked exactly as he did in my dreams…well, that’d piss me off even more.

I hated my subconscious for conjuring up such dreams, and I’d hate my body for how it’d react, and then I’d feel guilty for dreaming such things about someone I knew in real life, and then I’d get annoyed at myself for feeling guilty in the first place.

My biggest fear was that one day, Charlie would look at me, and he’d know. He’d know what happened in my dreams the night before.

My biggest fear was that he’d realise how much power he had over me.

I thought about this in Geography today, while staring at the back of his head. Sure, he acts like he’s terrified of me, but if one day he walked up to me and said that he’d let me hold his hand if I licked the floor of the boys’ bathroom, then I know that without a doubt, I’d get on my knees and lick the boys’ bathroom floor, germs be damned. If he told me to turn over all the money I saved for a chance to press my face into his neck and smell him, then I would. If he told me that if I did all his homework for the rest of the year, he’d let me pet his hair for sixty seconds, then I would. If he told me he’d let me kiss him, just once, if I got myself suspended from school—

So that’s why I hate him. And that’s why I can’t ever let him know the truth; that all he would have to do is ask, and I’d do it. I’d do it without a second thought.

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